


Is There Something I Should Know?

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Bad Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-06-30
Updated: 1998-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Is There Something I Should Know?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Is There Something I Should Know? by Blue Silver

Is There Something I Should Know?  
by Blue Silver

* * *

I made a break, I run out yesterday;  
I tried to find my mountain hideaway...  
Maybe next year, maybe no go-oh...

"Scully!" Mulder called out, jogging lightly over to where Scully stood by her mom, barbecuing hot dogs.

"Mulder!" Scully echod, her eyes wide with mangled surprise and joy, "You're here! Where have you been?"

Mulder rolled his eyes (for a change), shaking his head dismissively, as he grabbed a hot dog and bun off the platter Scully's mom was holding. "It's a long story...I got sidetracked while I was hunting down Crycheck in the Hemileias..."

"Sidetracked by what?"

"This really foxy were-woman," Mulder answered, his mouth so full of hot dog that he inadvertantly spit a piece out into Scully's red hair. He made a horrible face when he realized what he'd done, only Scully hadn't seemed to notice, cause she was asking, "So what happened?"

"So, I lost him up in the mountains, that's what," he prevari---he made up. He tried to cashualy get that piece of dog out of her hair without her noticing, but she was turning her head to yell, "Skinner! He's back!"

Mulder blinked loudly. "Skinner's here?" He totally and completely missed the blush that spread itself like fat-reduced butter over Scully's high cheekbones (and it clashed badly with her hair, too).

"Um...yeah..." Scully said softly, narrowing her eyes against the glare of the late summer sun, which hurt her eyes. "Mulder...you were gone for so long..."

Mulder shrugged defensively, "Hey, Scully, don't get all maternal on me, I'm just trying to do my job, here---"

"No, it's not that, I just---"

"Agent Mulder!" Skinner came tripping along to join them, giving Mulder a hugh grin and throwing his arm around Scully's showlders.

Mulder thought maybe the Hemileian fog hadn't completely and totally left his eyes, or something, cause he could of sworn Skinner was...grinning. "Why are you grinning like that?" he asked, uncomfortably aware that he sounded like a little boy watching another little boy playing with his favorite frisbee and loosing it. "And why do you have your arm around my---partner?"

Scully tilted her hed to one side, her eyes shutting tight. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mulder"

"Congratulate me, Mulder, I'm going to be a groom!" Skinner boomed, hugging a suddenly quiet Sculy, who'd gotten kinda quiet, all of a sudden.

"You're going to be a what?" Mulder echod dumly.

Skinner laughed alowd. "I know, it really is soemthing, isn't it? You were gone for so long that we'd figured you for dead. Then, at the Christmas ball, I asked Dana---"

"Who?" Mulder asked, his head spinning.

"Me, Mulder." Scully sighed, looking down at the ground.

"--to dance, and we just sort of fell head over heels...wanna see my tux?"

Mulder shook his head like a wet dog...(not a hot dog). "Why'd you bring your tux here?"

Scully raised her moistned eyes to Mulder's shocked face. "Because we're getting married right after the barbecue, Mulder."

I know you're watching me  
every minute of the day-yay...  
I've seen the signs and the looks and the pictures  
that give your game away-yay...

"Uh..." Mulder stutered...This sucks, he thought to himself. "A barbecue wedding?" was all he could think of saying. That's when he noticed the two hundred people who were millling about on Ma Scully's front lawn.

"Come on!" Skinner bekoned Mulder, grabing his arm and pulling him into the house, "You came just in time to be my best man!"

Scullty watched with sadened eyes as Skinner draged Mulder into the house. Bad enough that she was marrying a man she didn't love; but did the man she did love have to come back and ruwin it all? Oh well, it probably didn't matter...she was still dying of cancer and doubted she'd even make it past the bouquet toss. Just then, a glop of blood fell from her nose, and she cursed as she tried to clean herself up.

There's a dream that strings the road  
with broken glass for us to hold  
And I cut so far before I have to say...

"whey's there broken glass on the floor?" Mulder asked stupidly, as Skinner showed off his tux.

"Oh that," Skinner smiled engajingly, "I dropped my glasses on the floor and then stepped on them..." he shrugged playfully, "must be the pre-wedding jitterbugs."

"Sure, I'll bet that's it..."Mulder sighed softly...What the hell was he going to do? He couldn't let them get married to each other. I mean, he knew he hdan't exactly been all that great to Scully in the past, but that was all going to change now...now that he'd found Samantha...Too bad she was dead, though (Samanthat, not Scully). Up in the Hemileias, he'd discovered where Samanthat had been kept all these years, but she turned out to be a real snot, so Mulder said he was going back home to Scully so he could stop chasing aliens and have a real life...only, Samanthat hadn't liked that, so she pulled a gun on him...naturally, he had to self-defend himself, so he shot her...that's not what killed her, though. He ran over to her lustless body, brains racing like mad to think of a way to save her, when Crycheck showed up and finished Samantha off...then he disapeered. Oh, and he'd shot Mulder in the foot too, so mulder couldn't run after him, or anything. Mulder had weeped as hed stared as Samantah's ded body, (and cause his foot hurt, of course), but he figured he'd better turn his mind to more important things...like heeling his foot and getting back to Scully. And now she's engaged to marry Skinner? Man, this really sucked. Mulder was brought out of his revelie by the sound of Skinner's voice saying, "Hey, let's go toss the old ball around before the ceremony, huh? Whadaya say?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you know, I don't have any kids, or siplinks, or anything, and I've always felt kinda close to you...I just thought it would be fun, you know? Do some male bondage before I tie the knot?"

Mulder sneered a smile at Skinner, who looked so happy he'd bust a gut. Mulder wisht he could do that for him. "Sure, let's do some male bondage," he said, "but we'd better not throw the ball inside, I don't wanna break anything" Like my heart, he thought bitterly.

Skinner grinned wider, than made Mulder chase him down the stairs into the backyard. He yelled at Mulder to go long, and threw the ball, only, without his glasses, he mistaked Scully for Mulder and the ball hit her right int the---

"Oh! My nose!!!" she screemed muffledly, her hands cupping her nose.

Please, please tell me now  
Is There Something I should Know?  
Is there something I should say?  
That would make you come my way?  
Do you feel the same cause you don't let it show?

Well, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise that Skinner had hit his bride in the nose with a football; it cured her cancer. They know this because Scully's doctor was there (to attend the wedding, of course), and he came over right away to check her out, and was able to see that the football had knocked the cancer right on outta there.

"So I'm not dying anymore?" Scully asked, amazedly. Her mom, Mulder, Skinner, and the two hundred guests huddled ankshusly aound her, holding there bated breaths ,all at the same time.

The doctor laughed. "Dama, we're all dying alittle bit everyday, you know that! But if you mean about the nose cancer, no, you're fine."

Scully turned dazed eyes to Mulder. "I'm fine, Mulder!" Oh shit, she though, looking over at Skinner. It was all well and good to be marrying somebody you didn't love while your true love was off in the Hemileias and you were dying of cancer, but now what was she gonna do?

Mulder somehow overcame his innate insensitivity and correctly read the look of indesishun which spread across Scully's byutiful face. He grabbed her hadn, much to Skinner's and the two hundred guests' surprise, and dragged her off to a nearby Weeping Winslow. "Scully, I'm not gonna let you do this."

"You're not?" she asked. She was still kinda stunned from the impact of that football, you know.

"No..." He felt the tenshun ease away from his face as he stared down into her kerculian blue eyes. "Do you know that Duran Duran song?"

Scully's eyebrow shot up higher than a kite. "Which one?"

"Is There Something I should Know?" At her contiued look of confusion, he sang a few bars for her.

"Oh, yeah, Iknow that one, " she mumbled, wondering where all this was headed.

"Well, I think there's something you should know..." he murmured, taking ahold of her hand gently.

"Uh...what?"

"Scully, I love you, I always have, I always will, and if you marry that balding idiot, I'm afraid I'll have to shoot you like I shot Samantha."

"You shot your sister?!?!?!"

Mulder lost about 10 minutes explaining that part of the story for her. When they got back to the loving part, Scully said, "So what are you saying Mulder?

Mulder gave her those eyes. You know those eyes. "Marry me, Scully? Um, I mean, Dana?"

Just as she was about to shout YYES and stick her tongue down his throat, she was distracted by a loud shout, "Don't do it, Scully, I'm not who you think I am!"

Scully turned horrified eyes to see the reall Mulder racing to catch up with her. She gave a girly scream, pusing the fake Mulder away from her, and ran to the real Mulder, who, strangely enough, had only one arm.

The fake Mulder pulled out his gun. "Scully, he's lying! I'm Mulder; that's Crycheck!"

"No, Dana, he's lying, I'm the real Mulder!" The one armed Mulder shouted, pulling his own weapon (which he really shouldn't of done in front of all those people).

"What the---!" Scully pulled at her red hair in her agitashun, then winced, cause that hurt.

"I know who the real Mulder is." said the Cancer Man, walking to stand next to Scully, who was right inbetween the 2 Mulders. He was there for the wedding too.

"Yeah? So who'se the real Mulder? And give me one of those!" Scully ordered, taking the cigarette he'd just lit up and dragging deeply. She then choked on smoke as Cancer Man ripped the one armed man's face off to reveal...Marita Covarrubias.

"Marita?!" They all shouted in shock. (Even Cancer Man and the two hundred guests.)

"Yesssssss" she hissed, pulling her hidden arm out from under the suit she wore. "Betcha didn't know I'd been disguising myself as Crycheck all this time, didja?"

"Wait a minute, "Skinner finaly said, stepping into the circle they'd formed. He turned to Scully. "From that scene of you almost kissing Mulder that I witlessed,am I to understnad that our wedding's off?"

Mulder turned tender eyes to Scully. "Is it, Sculy?"

"Dana!" The two hundred guests shouted.

Scully smiled tenderly back at mulder. "Yes, it is, Mulder."

Skinner pondered this for a moment. Then he looked at Cancer Man. "Boss, has Marita ever actually really done anything wrong?"

"Urp...." thought Cancer Man alout, "I...I guess not?"

Skinner looked at Marita, who lounged there like a snake in the grass. "So, how about it? You dating anybody?"

"I've been cashualy seeing this bee farmer, but I'm game for ssssomething new." she purred, taking his arm and slinking away with him slimily. The guests watched as they walked away, then turned their attentions back to Mulder and Scully.

"Well, Scully---Dana," he corrected himself sheepfully, "how's about it? Please, please, tell me now...is there something I should know?"

Scully figured that the way she jumped his bones pretty much took away any remaining doubts.

The End


End file.
